What Happens to the Kids? A Mom’s Guide to Custody During Divorce
If you’re thinking about divorce or already going through it, one of your biggest questions is probably, “What’s going to happen to my kids?”
You’re not alone – and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
This guide breaks down what really happens when it comes to custody and parenting time during a divorce in Texas. It’s designed especially for moms who want answers in plain language, not legal jargon. Let’s walk through it together, step by step.
Where the Kids Live During the Divorce
When you file for divorce, the court can step in pretty quickly to decide where the children will live while the case is going on. This is called a temporary order, and it helps keep things calm and structured until there’s a final agreement.
So, who decides? A judge looks at where the children have been living, who’s been taking care of them day to day, and what’s going to keep their lives the most stable. The goal is to reduce chaos – not create more of it.
If you’re worried about your ex trying to take the kids or move them out of school, a temporary custody order can help protect them right away. And yes, you can ask the court for one shortly after you file.
Who Gets Custody After Divorce?
This is the big one – and it’s where things can get confusing.
In Texas, we don’t actually use the word “custody” in legal documents. Instead, the law uses the term “conservatorship.” (I know – it’s a mouthful.)
Here’s what it means:
- Joint Managing Conservatorship – Both parents share important decision-making responsibilities for the child.
- Sole Managing Conservatorship – One parent has full authority to make major decisions. This is usually only granted when the other parent has a history of abuse, neglect, or absence.
This doesn’t always mean equal time with the child. That part is called possession and access, and we’ll get to that next.
The judge isn’t choosing sides – they’re deciding what’s best for your child. That includes looking at:
- Who’s been the primary caregiver
- Whether both homes are safe and stable
- Each parent’s involvement and ability to co-parent respectfully
What the Parenting Schedule Looks Like
Once decision-making is set, the next step is setting up a schedule. Texas uses a Standard Possession Order (SPO) as a starting point. That usually means:
- The kids live mostly with one parent (often the mom)
- The other parent has weekends, some holidays, and extended time during the summer
- There’s a clear, written schedule so everyone knows what to expect
If your situation is different – maybe your kids are very young, or you and your ex live far apart – the court can adjust that plan. You can also create a custom schedule that works better for your family, as long as the judge agrees it’s fair.
What if My Child Wants to Live With Me?
It’s natural to wonder if your child’s voice matters – especially if they’re telling you they want to stay with you.
In Texas, if your child is 12 years old or older, the judge will usually give them a chance to share their opinion. This happens in a private meeting called an “in-chambers interview.”
But – and this is important – the judge is not required to follow what your child wants. They’ll still consider safety, routines, emotional needs, and stability.
Can I Move Away With My Kids After Divorce?
This is a tough question with a very specific answer: it depends.
In many Texas custody orders, there’s something called a geographic restriction. That usually means you can’t move your child out of a certain area – like Bexar County or the surrounding counties – without permission.
If you need to move for a job, family support, or safety reasons, you have to ask the court for permission. The judge will look at how the move would affect the child’s relationship with the other parent.
Relocation requests require strong evidence and often a court hearing. Brandi Wolfe helps moms make the case clearly and confidently.
What if My Ex Isn’t Following the Custody Order?
Let’s say the court has set up a schedule. You’re following it – but your ex is constantly late, cancels visits, or doesn’t show up at all. What can you do?
You can file something called a motion to enforce. That’s a legal way to ask the court to step in and require the other parent to follow the order. If the behavior continues, the judge can issue consequences like fines, makeup time, or even jail time in serious cases.
Brandi Wolfe helps moms track violations and take legal action when needed.
Can Custody Be Changed Later?
Yes – custody arrangements are not set in stone.
If something major changes, you can ask the court to modify the order. The law calls this a “material and substantial change in circumstances.” Some examples:
- A parent moves far away
- There are new concerns about safety
- The child’s needs change (medical, school, emotional)
The court will want to know that the change is significant – and that your request is focused on your child’s best interest, not just convenience.
How Moms Can Protect Their Custody Rights
You don’t need to be perfect – just proactive.
Here’s how to strengthen your custody case:
- Keep records of everything – school drop-offs, appointments, notes from teachers
- Stick to routines – courts love stability
- Stay calm even when your ex doesn’t
- Avoid bad-mouthing the other parent in front of your child
- Talk to a family law attorney who focuses on helping moms – like Brandi Wolfe
FAQs: Common Custody Questions for Moms
Can I get full custody if he’s not involved?
Yes – courts often award sole custody when a parent has been absent or shows no interest in parenting.
Can I refuse visitation if my child is scared?
Not without court approval. Talk to your attorney right away – Brandi can help you file to adjust the schedule legally and safely.
Do I need a lawyer to get custody?
You can file without one, but custody cases are high-stakes. A lawyer helps you stay focused and protected.
What if we agree on everything? Do we still need a court order?
Yes – verbal agreements aren’t enforceable. The court must approve your plan to make it binding.
Talk to Brandi Wolfe About Your Custody Rights
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone – and you’re not powerless. Schedule a confidential consultation with Brandi Wolfe to get guidance, peace of mind, and a plan tailored to your family’s future.